Crown Combo Blog
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Crown Combo Blog
The Lost Blogs Vol 1
Over the years I've collected many items for blog reviews and neglected to ever write a lick of anything about them. This has gotten worse in the past year with all the house, wedding, and now pregnancy business I've been handling. Instead of letting the plethora of pictures of products go to waste because a review is long overdue, I'm going to give each of them a short spotlight. Here we have the first few representations of months and months of neglected blogs.
I purchased the Galactic Garden pod from during a particularly boring trip to Hobbytown USA in which my husband had to purchase 50 tiny bottles of paint to paint 5,000 tiny little Warhammer figures. On the rare occasion I tag along on these trips, I usually amuse myself playing with Calico Critters or perusing the LEGO collections. This time I found myself drawn to a red clearance sticker on a space age eggplant pod. I planted the seeds in my gel, put it in a dark, cool place, and after a few weeks I had big eggplant sprouts. During the summer I attempted to get the plant out and replant in my raised bed garden. Unfortunately, the gel did not want to dislodge without a struggle and the plant turned to slime after replanting. I wouldn't have trusted eating an eggplant that started growing without any sunlight, anyway.
Valentine's Cherry Dark Chocolate 3 Musketeers. Oh man, these were good. Some people can't stand cherry candy due to the "cough syrup" association, but these were more reminiscent of cherry cordials than Robitussin. As tiny as those minis were, they went down quick, and I don't believe the bag lasted very long.
Ahhh.... Fushigi. If you think I bought this ball just to try and reenact scenes from The Labyrinth, you're absolutely 100% correct. I was expecting this ball to be light, but it was as heavy and clunky as a bowling ball. I didn't even check the bonus DVD before I managed to crack the Fushigi ball on the floor. I lost interest before trying to find out the DVD's satanic gravity bending secrets.
Stay tuned for more neglected goods.
I purchased a set of Snooki-style hair bumps from the Dollar Tree, and failed to realize they came in different colors. Instead of blonde, I purchased straight jet black. I couldn't get the hang of the things, anyway, and instead wound up with a dozen photos of myself with these damnable things caught in my hair.
YES. YES EVERYONE. I KNOW ABOUT MILANO MELTS! In fact, I could have sworn I had blogged about them, but as it turns out, I never did. The weekly emails telling me about how Milano Melts are JUST like Magic Middles (they're not) clued me in. You can probably tell by the expiration date on the packages that these cookies are from a while ago. They were good, but they were no Magic Middles.
YES. YES EVERYONE. I KNOW ABOUT MILANO MELTS! In fact, I could have sworn I had blogged about them, but as it turns out, I never did. The weekly emails telling me about how Milano Melts are JUST like Magic Middles (they're not) clued me in. You can probably tell by the expiration date on the packages that these cookies are from a while ago. They were good, but they were no Magic Middles.
Ahhh.... Fushigi. If you think I bought this ball just to try and reenact scenes from The Labyrinth, you're absolutely 100% correct. I was expecting this ball to be light, but it was as heavy and clunky as a bowling ball. I didn't even check the bonus DVD before I managed to crack the Fushigi ball on the floor. I lost interest before trying to find out the DVD's satanic gravity bending secrets.
Stay tuned for more neglected goods.
There's Chocolate in the Air
We're in a world where society seems like it's on the verge of banning children under 16 from even going down a grocery store aisle the contains candy under fear promoting childhood obesity. The candy corporations have to fight for our attention now even harder than ever, and there's no better way to do that than to change something on our favorite treats and slap a big shiny "NEW" sticker on it. It certainly worked for me in the case of Hershey's Air Delight. It seems like some sort of scam that Hershey's is running, but I'm trying to think of it more along the lines of a whipped chocolate or even just a more air-centered candy like malt balls. However, trying to gain a different angle on this new candy bar by our beloved Pennsylvania based candy manufacturer doesn't eliminate the factor that's it's really not that great. I predict less than a year manufacturing lifespan for this confection.
Delight? Yes. In the same way that I'm "delighted" when I have a tickle in my throat and find an old, sticky cough drop in the bottom of my purse among the 500 pennies, lost earrings, and crumbs. If you want chocolate, it'll do the job. It's not bad, per se. The added element of air just does nothing to enhance the chocolate-tasting experience and the texture just seems unusual. Nestle has a similar product called Aero, which hasn't been available in the US market -- maybe there isn't much of a taste for bubbles state-side.
Will the real Magic Middles please stand up?
A recent sales ad for Boyer's Food Market displays a sale for Keebler Cookies, and in this small section a package of Keebler Magic Middles is visible. I visited my local Boyer's and was unsuccessful in finding Keebler Magic Middles cookies. I searched two other stores and neither had them in stock. I now have an email out to Keebler and to Boyer's to inquire about the product.
I'll keep you posted with the updates.
Coincidentally, Chips Ahoy has recently developed a chocolate filled cookie as well.
::::::EDIT:::::
Update: Here is the response I received from the grocery store running the ad:
Yes as the customer will be unsuccessful at finding these items at any store anywhere. This Item was cut from Production until Further notice (With the exception of Cheesecake Middles. We were notified Last week as we received our second shipment of New SKUs as they were not included. Apparently the particular machinery used to manufacture will be used for something else. As of now Magic Middles Original ad Peanut Butter will not be produced
Thanks
Yes as the customer will be unsuccessful at finding these items at any store anywhere. This Item was cut from Production until Further notice (With the exception of Cheesecake Middles. We were notified Last week as we received our second shipment of New SKUs as they were not included. Apparently the particular machinery used to manufacture will be used for something else. As of now Magic Middles Original ad Peanut Butter will not be produced
Thanks
Update: Here is the response I received from Keebler:
Victoria,
Thank you for contacting us regarding Keebler® Magic Middles.
Unfortunately, stores only want to stock the fastest moving products. If the stores start to discontinue an item, we find that we cannot produce the smaller volumes the business demands. At this time, there are no plans to reintroduce it.
We know that it will be hard to find a replacement, but we are always developing new products. You should try Keebler® Fudge Shoppe® Cheesecake Middles.
We are including an electronic Keebler® coupon for you to print and use. Please make sure your printer is on and click on the link to print your coupon. You may have to copy and paste the link into your web browser in order for it to work.
We appreciate your interest and loyalty to our brands and trust that we will continue to meet your needs for many years to come.
Sincerely,
[name omitted]
Consumer Specialist
Consumer Affairs
It appears Keebler had intended to bring back Magic Middles and at the last minute changed their mind. Whether any product was produced and shipped to any store remains unknown.
Victoria,
Thank you for contacting us regarding Keebler® Magic Middles.
Unfortunately, stores only want to stock the fastest moving products. If the stores start to discontinue an item, we find that we cannot produce the smaller volumes the business demands. At this time, there are no plans to reintroduce it.
We know that it will be hard to find a replacement, but we are always developing new products. You should try Keebler® Fudge Shoppe® Cheesecake Middles.
We are including an electronic Keebler® coupon for you to print and use. Please make sure your printer is on and click on the link to print your coupon. You may have to copy and paste the link into your web browser in order for it to work.
We appreciate your interest and loyalty to our brands and trust that we will continue to meet your needs for many years to come.
Sincerely,
[name omitted]
Consumer Specialist
Consumer Affairs
It appears Keebler had intended to bring back Magic Middles and at the last minute changed their mind. Whether any product was produced and shipped to any store remains unknown.
Cupcake Bites
Cupcake Bites. These tiny little balls of colored deliciousity taste less like cupcakes and more like Cookie Dough Bites with sprinkles, but does it really matter? Look at how cute and girl they are! I only wish there were unicorns and rainbows on the box to finish the effect.
These babies are in a Bonus Pack. What's the bonus, you ask? It's a surprise. The surprise is, there's no bonus. There's just a bag inside with the little candy chunks pictured above. No sticker, tattoo, collectible card, NOTHING. I've read and re-read the box and there's no indication that said "bonus" is the sprinkles themselves, or that it's a bigger box, or even that you can go online for a free download.
Every time you promise a non-existent bonus, there's a fairy somewhere who drops dead.
These babies are in a Bonus Pack. What's the bonus, you ask? It's a surprise. The surprise is, there's no bonus. There's just a bag inside with the little candy chunks pictured above. No sticker, tattoo, collectible card, NOTHING. I've read and re-read the box and there's no indication that said "bonus" is the sprinkles themselves, or that it's a bigger box, or even that you can go online for a free download.
Every time you promise a non-existent bonus, there's a fairy somewhere who drops dead.
Dollar Store Pick-Me Up
Lately Fridays have been notoriously long due to work running thin by the end of the week. There's only so much I can do to perk up that won't show up in a piss test. By noon I've already listened to my favorite podcast, Tell 'em Steve-Dave, and I'm hunting for a caffeine jolt to get me through the next few hours. The other Friday I had originally intended to leave the office during lunch for an ice coffee, but instead found myself at a Dollar Tree in downtown Allentown.
The Dollar Tree was heavily traveled for a Friday afternoon, and the clientele were an issue from the moment I set foot in the door. As I was inspecting the Easter display in the front, I heard a frazzled, perplexed older woman asking the cashier in a very accusatory tone if he remembered to hand over her receipt. He told her he did, but she continued to stand there gawking and slowly repeating herself, thereby making everyone in line feel awkward. The store was full of people just like that, particularly in the ointment aisle. Thankfully there wasn't any interesting foaming blue raspberry ointment, so I didn't need to worry about beating down any slow elderly people.
I wasn't quite sure what I was looking for, but it seemed like a great way to kill my lunch break. I hit a few jackpots. The bulk of it is up there. On the far left are diet Dots with Acai. Who knew the secret to weight loss could be obtained for $1 for 24 doses! Now I can save thousands on surgery connecting my mouth directly to my asshole. Bikini season, here I come!
Also on the health aids spectrum we have super hero soap. Specifically, Batman Bubble Gum Blast scented hand soap. There were 2 other scents available, but bubblegum is the go-to generic kid-exclusive scent. However, it's not very creative on incorporating the B-man part. I would have gone with names like "Brooding Bubblegum" or "Scowling Strawberry."
I took several "in action" shots of me using the Epil-Stop hair removal lotion, but I've come to realize that the internet is far better off without seeing my hairy spider veins. You'll just have to take my word that it works pretty poorly unless you want to apply it to your legs three times to get the hair off. The smell is almost worth it, though. Instead of that normal horrid cucumber melon, this lotion comes in a refreshing Margarita Lime. It REALLY smells like margaritas, too!
LOOK AT MY DIRTY FOOT FILTH!!! Yep, we have generic dollar store Kinoki Foot pads. Of course, they couldn't blatantly steal the name, so they ripped off the name next Asian obsession in line -- Sudoku. Mudoku foot pads are supposed to cleanse your feet while you sleep and rid them of unseen toxins. Or they just turn icky brown overnight. Hell if I know.
Out of the health products and into the candy aisle! This Chocolate Egg Chick looked promising, but disappointed me from here to the 14th dimension on Quipzarf, the planet of saber tooth bullfrogs. The chocolate was marginally acceptable, as is most cheap chocolate or cheap pizza. The chick, however, was like trying to eat a 5 year old wad of gum covered in sugar crystals. Not good sugar crystals, either. Someone took the ancient sugar cubes my 3rd grade teacher kept in the closet to cure hiccups, ground them up, and rolled the chick in that. Then put eyes and a beak made of rocks.
Ladies and gentlemen, I told you all the above to make my last find seem even more awesome than it is. This is the kind of things bored Dollar Store trip dreams are made of.
Ladies and gentlemen, I told you all the above to make my last find seem even more awesome than it is. This is the kind of things bored Dollar Store trip dreams are made of.
DINOSAUR HAT! DINOSAUR HAT! DOLLAR DOLLAR DINOSAUR HAT!!!
Granted, I have no idea what species of dino this is, but judging by the teeth I'm sure it's something carnivorous. It's a pretty sweet hat because it's lifelike and not some generic kiddy Barney style dinosaur. You can see the scales and nostrils and everything. I may never wear a baseball cap again. Of course, I never wore them to begin with. But if I did, I would stop, and wear only an array of Dollar Tree dinosaur hats instead.
DINO HAT!
Granted, I have no idea what species of dino this is, but judging by the teeth I'm sure it's something carnivorous. It's a pretty sweet hat because it's lifelike and not some generic kiddy Barney style dinosaur. You can see the scales and nostrils and everything. I may never wear a baseball cap again. Of course, I never wore them to begin with. But if I did, I would stop, and wear only an array of Dollar Tree dinosaur hats instead.
DINO HAT!
Fruity and Cocoa Pebbles Treats
Dear God of portable breakfast treats,
Thank you for Frosted Rainbow Cookie Sandwich Pop-Tarts, but I have already written about those dry, thin pastries 5,000 times. Can't you give me something else new in the cereal aisle? Something that is low in calories and has no high fructose corn syrup?
Your pal,
Mystie
Thank you for Frosted Rainbow Cookie Sandwich Pop-Tarts, but I have already written about those dry, thin pastries 5,000 times. Can't you give me something else new in the cereal aisle? Something that is low in calories and has no high fructose corn syrup?
Your pal,
Mystie
Rice Krispies have long been the standard for cereal bars, but since the 90's many other breakfast baddies have stepped into the ring. Finally after years of waiting Pebbles have stepped into the ring, in both the Fruity and Cocoa varieties. Both boxes are adorned with Fred Flintstone stretching apart a bar the size of his torso. Looking at it makes me realize that kids today only relate Fred Flintstone as a mascot for vitamins, Push Up Pops, and Pebbles. It's been 11 years since the last Flintstones movie even came out. Maybe it's time for a cheap Yogi Bear style 3D comeback.
The bars aren't that large but with all the hype over childhood obesity (cue the spam bots!) I'm surprised there isn't a hit out on Little Debbie. Regardless, it hits all the sweetness factors including the icing swirls on the top while clocking in at 90 calories. I usually side with chocolate on just about everything, and this is one of the "just about" exceptions. Part of it may be the bright colors of the fruity variety mesmerizing me like a big tye-dye cereal trip, but overall it's a clear flavor winner. It has a more uplifting flavor, and leaves out all the yucky "Did I just eat wax" aftertaste that is usually accompanied by these cereals.
That being said, they weren't such a revelation that I'd go out of my way to buy them again unless they were on sale. I love me some cereal bars, but these are like eating cookies -- you don't eat one, you have 5. Then you forget to blog about them for a month.
The bars aren't that large but with all the hype over childhood obesity (cue the spam bots!) I'm surprised there isn't a hit out on Little Debbie. Regardless, it hits all the sweetness factors including the icing swirls on the top while clocking in at 90 calories. I usually side with chocolate on just about everything, and this is one of the "just about" exceptions. Part of it may be the bright colors of the fruity variety mesmerizing me like a big tye-dye cereal trip, but overall it's a clear flavor winner. It has a more uplifting flavor, and leaves out all the yucky "Did I just eat wax" aftertaste that is usually accompanied by these cereals.
That being said, they weren't such a revelation that I'd go out of my way to buy them again unless they were on sale. I love me some cereal bars, but these are like eating cookies -- you don't eat one, you have 5. Then you forget to blog about them for a month.
Goldfish Sandwich Bread
Put down those Pop-Tarts, get out of the breakfast aisle and into the bread aisle! The breakfast aisle only pounds out one fun idea per decade, and to date there's still no sign of rainbow colored Wonderbread. This section of the grocery store is normally a total snooze, but during my last trip I found these awesome little Goldfish shaped sandwich breads.
They're based off the tremendously popular Goldfish crackers, a snacking staple. We've seen Goldfish crackers expand into some great horizons with their crackers, make awesome sweet graham snacks, and even dive into their own Campbell's soup. This was a movement I would never have predicted, but now can't imagine my life without. This is going to change the way I eat peanut butter and banana sandwiches.
Tonight it changed the way I eat veggie burgers with cheese, ketchup, and fried onions. My dinner was instantly 500x more fun. Next time I make turkey burgers, I'm going to mold them into Goldfish shapes, and my meal will smile at me while I devour it.
My Little Pony Happy Meal
Extra long days at work often leave me forgetting to eat dinner until after 10p.m. and occasionally it's nice to just pick something up on the way home. Nothing hits that late evening fast food craving like a Happy Meal. Or tacos. But Taco Bell hasn't given me anything to blog about in years, if ever. McDonald's, on the other hand, has given me content out the wazoo. Besides, look at that box up there. No one can resist the simple lure of a Happy Meal box, saturated with the smell of chicken nuggets and fries.
When I pulled into the drive-in there was no boards displaying the current selection of Happy Meal toys. The teen on window duty that night must have been either new or highly distracted, because I asked him a couple of times if they had the My Little Pony Happy Meal with no response and then I just had him tell me which toys they DID have. I forgive him, because he kinda giggled when I grabbed my box all wide-eyed and smiley saying, "I love when they come in boxes." The emoticon translation of this interaction is such:
Holy crap. Someone laced the pony trough with ecstasy. When did they turn into Powerpuff Girls 'n Friends? This is too much saccharin for me. The eyes are huge, they're taking up the cheeks and everything. Even the logo has gotten cuter.
Only one side of the box was dedicated to ponies. You can see the G3 favorites like Rainbow Dash and Pinkie Pie. It also clarifies that the pony hiney markings are called "Cutie Marks," which was a term that was only coined in recent years. The only activity on the box is a small circle that suggests you design your own cutie mark. No pop-outs to turn the box into a castle, no connect-the-dots, no search and find -- just a blank circle. It's about the least effort possible on a Happy Meal box I've seen in years.
I got Twilight Sparkle, which sounds like the name of an Edward Cullen body lotion. She's very purple and accent in pink which makes for a happy Mystie. Her purple sparkle stand is supposed to double as a comb, but the teeth are so large that her entire tail fits between them. I can forgive this, because she's a unicorn, which makes her super extra special. She also has her hoof raised in a jaunty fashion like a pinky finger in the air. Judging by how big her picture is on the box, I think I got the pick of the litter. I will grow bored of her slightly less earlier for that.
Action Figure Makeover: Gambit
Ladies and gentlemen, it has been over 2 years since I last defiled a sculpted piece of plastic with my cursed hands. Here you see some of my previous creations or at least what is left of them. The Thing lost his wings and is starting to peel. One day I'll have him back to his previous glory. But for now, for now we must press on.
Today I have finished my next glorious creation. Today is the day for Action Figure Makeover: Gambit . Another handcrafted disasterpiece.
I'm in the process of categorizing all the past articles for easier selection, but it may take some time. I have finished the section for all the makeovers, so if you would like to check out all the previous pieces, you can find them all right here .
Today I have finished my next glorious creation. Today is the day for Action Figure Makeover: Gambit . Another handcrafted disasterpiece.
I'm in the process of categorizing all the past articles for easier selection, but it may take some time. I have finished the section for all the makeovers, so if you would like to check out all the previous pieces, you can find them all right here .
Check Out My Fish Taco
I found this ad in the newspaper coupons last weekend. There are at least 15 things that make this picture worth taking to Michael's for custom framing. Let me give you the top 5.
1. The expression on the face of the middle kid. He looks like he's reaallllly enjoying that taco in an intimate sort of fashion. He's not doing the natural pose of opening his mouth as wide as possible to get a good hearty bite in. He's caressing it in a delicate one-handed fashion and carefully preening it as he makes bedroom eyes at the camera.
2. The kid on the right is eating his taco upside down. Either this kid is some sort of Marvel type mutant with the ability to defy gravity in food products or he is eating a fake glued together taco.
3. The Spongebob Taco Kit. As if they needed any help getting kids to eat tacos, here's the icing on the cake. Ortega has produced a Spongebob Squarepants taco kit complete with branded seasoning and sauce packets and even a special TACO HOLDER designed just like Spongebob. I haven't seen these hit the store shelves yet, but I hope it won't be a long wait.
4. The football uniforms have the Ortega logo printed on them. They are also white uniforms, so good luck getting out those taco stains. The chances of anyone anywhere eating a taco without spilling it on themselves is only 1 out of 10.
5. While the Crunch Squad is clearly noshing on some beef tacos, the plated tacos are actually fish tacos. Ortega and Gordon's have some sort of partnership going, because this isn't the only ad I've seen declaring love of fish tacos.
Even the box of shells I have in my cupboard are promoting fish tacos. I'm usually a ground turkey kinda gal, but I did once try the potato taco at Taco Bell and it was fairly good so I'm willing to try other alternatives. I'm also not a big fish person, though. I love salmon raw in sushi but if you give me a piece cooked, I'm likely to turn my nose up at it. I eat the standard canned tuna fish and battered or breaded fish, but not much beyond that and the sushi.
Luckily I had some reduced fat fishsticks in the freezer so I could try this out. The box recommended the use of avocado, which I loooooove but sadly I didn't have any. I was also suspicious of the lack of shredded cheese in the topping suggestions. I should have put it on anyway. Cheese makes everything delicious.
I found this fish taco to be a little bland. I mean, there isn't any taco seasoning involved so that's a big strike against it. No. No. I think I'm going to stick to ground turkey. I don't foresee myself ever growing a taste for fish tacos. I like my hot, dripping meat.
I found this fish taco to be a little bland. I mean, there isn't any taco seasoning involved so that's a big strike against it. No. No. I think I'm going to stick to ground turkey. I don't foresee myself ever growing a taste for fish tacos. I like my hot, dripping meat.
