I Love S'more Pop-Tarts

When I was young, Pop-Tarts came in the most basic flavors -- strawberry, blueberry, brown sugar cinnamon, etc. Some of them weren't even iced! Then, I believe during my middle school run, Kellogg's introduced the S'mores Pop-Tart, and it was like a toaster shaped cloud from heaven rained down upon the cereal aisle. Not only were they filled with the mortal sin that is chocolate and marshmallow, but they were encased in a crumbly, soft graham cracker crust and topped with even more chocolate. They're the kind of thing you can eat a whole family size box of and feel little remorse for, because they're just that freaking good. Even with all the chocolate vanilla creme, cookie dough, hot fudge sundae, and strawberry milkshake flavors, I think s'mores still holds up as my favorite.


(click to download commercial)

Around '97-'98ish, S'mores Pop-Tarts were getting some hot and heavy loving from a computer generated toaster voiced by Gilbert Gottfried, whom you may know as being voted the "Unsexiest Man in the World" last year. I suspect when you're pulling in money for providing voices to everything from talking parrots to insurance mascots to toasters, you can probably afford enough hookers to make up for it. The toaster protested that Pop-Tarts were only "cool" because he made them "hot." Keep in mind, this was pre-freezing Pop-Tarts days, where Kellogg's didn't worry so much about being sued by dimwit that scorched himself trying to retrieve a stuck pastry from a burning hot toaster that they just started telling everyone to eat 'em cold. Pop-Tarts aren't that great cold, it's just less likely anyone will sue over frostbite as opposed to igniting them in the microwave.

 

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