Further accelerating his status as a blazing orange bad-boy, Chester Cheetah has now resorted to hyping the size of his balls. Not only  that, but Chester’s ball sack contains not 2, but a full 4 balls which makes Chester second only to Chuck Norris in the ball department.

If you’ve been paying a lick of attention lately to any of the Cheetos commercials, you’ll have seen the CG kitty  in various real life escapades egging on Cheetos consumers to get down with their bad selves. In this latest development, he’s forcing specimens to open their mouths as he determines just how large he can expand his balls while still fitting them into the average size mouth. Chester wants you to open wide for his balls.



While you’re busy licking Chester’s salty ball residue off your finger, remember that we’re still deprived of the greatest Cheetos shape ever made -- the paw. Paws were designed for cheese powder coating perfection with the grooves in the toes and the perfect hole in the middle. Swollen balls could never lend themselves to the extreme cheesiness needed by this jaded generation. Unless there’s a reserve of extra flavoring in the middle, the engorged ball shape is superbly faulty. I, for one, will take my ball cheese sucking elsewhere.