I'm not much of a mall troller these days, I'm sure mainly due to the fact that most of my money is spent on food, shelter, and 6 different credit card companies. When the mood strikes I'll head to the mall for one or two specific things, but occasionally I'll go just to walk around after eating my weight in honey chicken at the Chinese buffet. This particular trip was the latter, so I was weaving in and out of various stores and happened to find my way into Spencer's.

There were oodles of Ninja Turtles merchandise in pockets around the store, and it was difficult, nay, impossible not to leave without one or two small tokens. I picked up a car magnet and the above awesome Michelangelo shot glass. The glass itself is green and features a growling teeth-gritting Michelangelo with trademark orange mask.

Now I live in Pennsylvania, which means obtaining booze requires going to a beer distributor,  "state store" or overpaying for a 6-pack at a bar. Lucky for me, my local grocery store has a Wine and Spirits built into it and as such, I have bought more liquor in the past 2 months than I have in my entire life for the sheer convenience. For this occasion I picked up Bailey's, Kahlua, and whipped cream to make the glorious shot known as the "blowjob".

I gave Michelangelo many, many blowjobs. I sucked the white cream straight out of him while he bit down and was emptied over and over and over. I was drunk with his ooze.

Suck on that.